1. Play the race card carefully, and at your own peril. As Johnnie Cochran cleverly demonstrated when he saved O. J. Simpson’s hide, there is a time when playing the race card makes perfectly good sense.



2. Complain all you like about the raw deal you have gotten in life, but don’t expect those complaints to get you anywhere. America likes winners, not whiners.



3. Expect to do better than the world expects of you; expect to live in a bigger world than the one you see. One of the most unfortunate realities of growing up as a black male in America is that we are constantly told to lower our sights; we are constantly nudged, unless we are very lucky and privileged, in the direction of mediocrity. Our dreams, we are told in effect, cannot be as large as other folks’ dreams


4. Don’t expect support for your dreams from those who have not accomplished very much in their lives. The natural reaction of many people (especially those who believe they share your background) is to feel threatened or intimidated or simply to be dismissive if you are trying to do things they have not done themselves


5. If someone is bringing out your most self-destructive tendencies, acknowledge that that person is not a friend.People who will care for you, who will support and watch out for you, are a precious part of a full and blessed life.



6. Don’t be too proud to ask for help, particularly from those who are wiser and older. We are uncomfortable admitting our pain, our inexperience, our incompetence; and, as a result, we sometimes ignore resources we usefully could tap


7. Recognize that being true to yourself is not the same as being true to a stupid stereotype.We desperately need to promote archetypes other than rappers, thugs and ballplayers of what it is possible and desirable for us to be.



8. Don’t let the glitter blind you.



9. Don’t expect competence and hard work alone to get you the recognition or rewards you deserve. the general rule is that any organization rewards those fully engaged in the game



10. You must seize the time, for it is already later than you think.


11. Even if you have to fake it, show some faith in yourself. Confidence, lightly worn, can be contagious, and you might even manage to fool yourself into letting go of your doubts.



12. Don’t force innocent others to bear the price of your pain. Before giving in to the temptation to turn loved ones into targets, we should remind ourselves that those who love us are the best hope we have to regain whatever humanity we have lost; that they, in other words, are our salvation.

We deserve, in other words, the fairness we have always been promised, and the opportunity to compete free of the burdens we have always carried, burdens economic, emotional and historical, burdens that still stand in the way of our receiving our due and of America achieving a true meritocracy.